Much like the relief of Frodo when he finally cast the one ring back into the fiery hell of Mordor, we can all finally claim that January IS DONE!.
It is a long drawn out process where the sun refuses to shine and the first 31 days of the new year feel like an eternity in Azkaban, with the happiness and joy of December fading to a distant memory.
If January had a colour palette, it would be 50 shades of Amish grey. If January was a biscuit, it would be a rich tea (sure they’re ok, but I don’t want 31 one of them!). And if January had a list of synonyms they would include ‘unremarkable and adequate’. For me this January has done it’s best to distinguish all optimism of the year to come. I've had to face; an injury comeback, short hours in sunlight, long hours of work, the dreaded ESTYN (Welsh OFSTED) inspection, illness after illness (thanks school kids) and the bitter cold of winter.
January is also the time where social media becomes a catalogue of new year's resolutions, screaming; ‘new year, new me’, ‘this is the year to love yourself’, ‘2020 is your year’. O PURRLEEAASSSEE. I'm just trying to struggle through the day without; crying that my trousers won't do up, put my underwear on inside out or falling into a very real pit of despair at the extra winter 'squidge'. SO, I do NOT need some tanned, toned and trimmed InFLUenCeR shoving their new gym regime down my throat...
With just coming back from an Achilles injury, the running I have been doing has felt like the most monumental effort. I started the month doing 3km runs twice a week, but amazingly finished with a monthly total of 209km, HOORAH!...
Also due to a full time teaching job all my runs have been in the dark which is physically and mentally draining regardless of what the weather decides to do. Which of course has been damp and bone achingly cold. For the first time ever my knees have actually begun to creek... brilliant.
During January not only was my body feeling strange and the weather making me sad, I also found myself saying things such as ‘… when I’m running normally again…’, ‘I can’t wait until my mileage is back to normal…’, ‘I’ll join you when I’m running normally...' The whole month I seemed to be tirelessly chasing this idea of ‘normal’. I spoke to coach Jules about it and she gave me a firm but empathetic talking that there is no such thing and I need to be present in the now and enjoy what I CAN do, and not think about what I CAN’T do yet...
The solace I take from the longest 31 days in living memory is that whilst the 209km I have run have been anything but refined. I have still enjoyed running, and I have still been out on the trails with my Maverick family which is a huge hug to my heart (photo of me and Rach at Maverick Original Sussex).
I have still revelled in putting on a head torch and getting out the front door regardless of just how adequate (shit) I may feel. Because come rain or shine, I am able to see the bigger picture and the progress I am making. With persistence, patience and passion I have already gone from clunky 3km runs twice a week, to clunky 60km weeks. Yes all the km’s have been remarkably adequate, but that doesn’t make me remarkably adequate. With the help of Jade at Sportsinjuryclinic Cardiff and Julia my coach I am in the most expert of hands to get me racing and experiencing the running sparkle of yesteryear.
Also the more I shared my rather crappy feelings about the whole month with others, the more I realised that I was NOT alone. IT seemed that everyone was feeling slightly 'off', disheartened or drained. It's a really tough month for everyone and we are all just trying to muddle our way through however we can.
If you experienced a rather remarkably adequate January then think about this… If January teaches us anything it is resilience. It develops our mental strength and fortitude to get out there and persist. So later in the year when we inevitably find ourselves in the hurt locker mid-race, or trudging through the bog of Snowdonia, we can think back to January. We can maybe even thank it?... I’ll certainly look back and think ‘I made it through those 31 days, so I’m sure as hell going to make it through this race’...
Here’s to a fiery February, filled with many more Trail Adventures that are anything but adequate!
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